TED英語演講：如何在說話時表現出你的專業性

放聲說話並不是一件容易的事情，哥倫比亞大學商學院教授Adam Galinsky通過心理研究想出了許多解決這一問題的辦法。下面是小編為大家收集關於TED英語演講：如何在說話時表現出你的專業性，歡迎借鑑參考。

演說題目：如何在說話時表現出你的專業性?

演說者：Adam Galinsky

演講稿

Speaking up is hard to do. I understood the true meaning of this phrase exactly one month ago, when my wife and I became new parents. It was an amazing moment. It was exhilarating and elating, but it was also scary and terrifying. And it got particularly terrifying when we got home from the hospital,and we were unsure whether our little baby boy was getting enough nutrients from breastfeeding. And we wanted to call our pediatrician, but we also didn't want to make a bad first impression or come across as a crazy, neurotic parent. So we worried. And we waited. When we got to the doctor's office the next day, she immediately gave him formula because he was pretty dehydrated. Our son is fine now, and our doctor has reassured us we can always contact her. But in that moment, I should've spoken up, but I didn't.

But sometimes we speak up when we shouldn't, and I learned that over 10 years ago when I let my twin brother down. My twin brother is a documentary filmmaker, and for one of his first films, he got an offer from a distribution company. He was excited, and he was inclined to accept the offer. But as a negotiations researcher, I insisted he make a counteroffer, and I helped him craft the perfect it was perfect -- it was perfectly insulting. The company was so offended, they literally withdrew the offer and my brother was left with nothing.

And I've asked people all over the world about this dilemma of speaking up: when they can assert themselves, when they can push their interests, when they can express an opinion, when they can make an ambitious ask.

And the range of stories are varied and diverse, but they also make up a universal tapestry. Can I correct my boss when they make a mistake? Can I confront my coworker who keeps stepping on my toes? Can I challenge my friend's insensitive joke? Can I tell the person I love the most my deepest insecurities?

And through these experiences, I've come to recognize that each of us have something called a range of acceptable behavior. Now, sometimes we're too strong; we push ourselves too much. That's what happened with my brother. Even making an offer was outside his range of acceptable sometimes we're too weak. That's what happened with my wife and I. And this range of acceptable behaviors -- when we stay within our range, we're rewarded. When we step outside that range, we get punished in a variety of ways. We get dismissed or demeaned or even ostracized. Or we lose that raise or that promotion or that deal.

Now, the first thing we need to know is: What is my range? But the key thing is, our range isn't fixed;it's actually pretty dynamic. It expands and it narrows based on the context. And there's one thing that determines that range more than anything else, and that's your power. Your power determines your range. What is power? Power comes in lots of forms. In negotiations, it comes in the form of alternatives. So my brother had no alternatives; he lacked power. The company had lots of alternatives; they had power. Sometimes it's being new to a country, like an immigrant, or new to an organization or new to an experience, like my wife and I as new parents. Sometimes it's at work,where someone's the boss and someone's the subordinate. Sometimes it's in relationships, where one person's more invested than the other person.

And the key thing is that when we have lots of power, our range is very wide. We have a lot of leeway in how to behave. But when we lack power, our range narrows. We have very little leeway. The problem is that when our range narrows, that produces something called the low-power double low-power double bind happens when, if we don't speak up, we go unnoticed, but if we do speak up, we get punished.

Now, many of you have heard the phrase the "double bind" and connected it with one thing, and that's gender. The gender double bind is women who don't speak up go unnoticed, and women who do speak up get punished. And the key thing is that women have the same need as men to speak up,but they have barriers to doing so. But what my research has shown over the last two decades is that what looks like a gender difference is not really a gender double bind, it's a really a low-power double bind. And what looks like a gender difference are really often just power differences in ntimes we see a difference between a man and a woman or men and women, and think, "Biological cause. There's something fundamentally different about the sexes." But in study after study, I've found that a better explanation for many sex differences is really power. And so it's the low-power double bind. And the low-power double bind means that we have a narrow range, and we lack power. We have a narrow range, and our double bind is very large.

So we need to find ways to expand our range. And over the last couple decades, my colleagues and I have found two things really matter. The first: you seem powerful in your own eyes. The second: you seem powerful in the eyes of others. When I feel powerful, I feel confident, not fearful; I expand my own range. When other people see me as powerful, they grant me a wider range. So we need tools to expand our range of acceptable behavior. And I'm going to give you a set of tools today. Speaking up is risky, but these tools will lower your risk of speaking up.

The first tool I'm going to give you got discovered in negotiations in an important finding. On average, women make less ambitious offers and get worse outcomes than men at the bargaining table. But Hannah Riley Bowles and Emily Amanatullah have discovered there's one situation where women get the same outcomes as men and are just as ambitious. That's when they advocate for they advocate for others, they discover their own range and expand it in their own mind. They become more assertive. This is sometimes called "the mama bear effect." Like a mama bear defending her cubs, when we advocate for others, we can discover our own voice.

But sometimes, we have to advocate for ourselves. How do we do that? One of the most important tools we have to advocate for ourselves is something called perspective-taking. And perspective-taking is really simple: it's simply looking at the world through the eyes of another person. It's one of the most important tools we have to expand our range. When I take your perspective, and I think about what you really want, you're more likely to give me what I really want.

But here's the problem: perspective-taking is hard to do. So let's do a little experiment. I want you all to hold your hand just like this: your finger -- put it up. And I want you to draw a capital letter E on your forehead as quickly as possible. OK, it turns out that we can draw this E in one of two ways, and this was originally designed as a test of perspective-taking. I'm going to show you two pictures of someone with an E on their forehead -- my former student, Erika Hall. And you can see over here,that's the correct E. I drew the E so it looks like an E to another person. That's the perspective-taking E because it looks like an E from someone else's vantage point. But this E over here is the self-focused E. We often get self-focused. And we particularly get self-focused in a crisis.

I want to tell you about a particular crisis. A man walks into a bank in Watsonville, California. And he says, "Give me $2,000, or I'm blowing the whole bank up with a bomb." Now, the bank manager didn't give him the money. She took a step back. She took his perspective, and she noticed something really important. He asked for a specific amount of money.

So she said, "Why did you ask for $2,000?"

And he said, "My friend is going to be evicted unless I get him $2,000 immediately."

And she said, "Oh! You don't want to rob the bank -- you want to take out a loan."

"Why don't you come back to my office, and we can have you fill out the paperwork."

Now, her quick perspective-taking defused a volatile situation. So when we take someone's perspective, it allows us to be ambitious and assertive, but still be likable.

Here's another way to be assertive but still be likable, and that is to signal flexibility. Now, imagine you're a car salesperson, and you want to sell someone a car. You're going to more likely make the sale if you give them two options. Let's say option A: $24,000 for this car and a five-year warranty. Or option B: $23,000 and a three-year warranty. My research shows that when you give people a choice among options, it lowers their defenses, and they're more likely to accept your offer.

And this doesn't just work with salespeople; it works with parents. When my niece was four, she resisted getting dressed and rejected everything. But then my sister-in-law had a brilliant idea. What if I gave my daughter a choice? This shirt or that shirt? OK, that shirt. This pant or that pant? OK, that pant. And it worked brilliantly. She got dressed quickly and without resistance.

When I've asked the question around the world when people feel comfortable speaking up, the number one answer is: "When I have social support in my audience; when I have allies." So we want to get allies on our side. How do we do that? Well, one of the ways is be a mama bear. When we advocate for others, we expand our range in our own eyes and the eyes of others, but we also earn strong allies.

Another way we can earn strong allies, especially in high places, is by asking other people for we ask others for advice, they like us because we flatter them, and we're expressing this really works to solve another double bind. And that's the self-promotion double bind. The self-promotion double bind is that if we don't advertise our accomplishments, no one notices. And if we do, we're not likable.

But if we ask for advice about one of our accomplishments, we are able to be competent in their eyes but also be likeable. And this is so powerful it even works when you see it coming. There have been multiple times in life when I have been forewarned that a low-power person has been given the advice to come ask me for advice. I want you to notice three things about this: First, I knew they were going to come ask me for advice. Two, I've actually done research on the strategic benefits of asking for advice. And three, it still worked! I took their perspective, I became more invested in their cause, I became more committed to them because they asked for advice.

Now, another time we feel more confident speaking up is when we have expertise. Expertise gives us credibility. When we have high power, we already have credibility. We only need good we lack power, we don't have the credibility. We need excellent evidence.

And one of the ways we can come across as an expert is by tapping into our passion. I want everyone in the next few days to go up to friend of theirs and just say to them, "I want you to describe a passion of yours to me." I've had people do this all over the world and I asked them, "What did you notice about the other person when they described their passion?" And the answers are always the same."Their eyes lit up and got big." "They smiled a big beaming smile." "They used their hands all over -- I had to duck because their hands were coming at me." "They talk quickly with a little higher pitch."

"They leaned in as if telling me a secret."

And then I said to them, "What happened to you as you listened to their passion?"

They said, "My eyes lit up. I smiled. I leaned in."

When we tap into our passion, we give ourselves the courage, in our own eyes, to speak up, but we also get the permission from others to speak up. Tapping into our passion even works when we come across as too weak. Both men and women get punished at work when they shed tears. But Lizzie Wolf has shown that when we frame our strong emotions as passion, the condemnation of our crying disappears for both men and women.

I want to end with a few words from my late father that he spoke at my twin brother's wedding. Here's a picture of us. My dad was a psychologist like me, but his real love and his real passion was cinema,like my brother. And so he wrote a speech for my brother's wedding about the roles we play in the human comedy.

And he said, "The lighter your touch, the better you become at improving and enriching your performance. Those who embrace their roles and work to improve their performance grow, change and expand the self. Play it well, and your days will be mostly joyful."

What my dad was saying is that we've all been assigned ranges and roles in this world. But he was also saying the essence of this talk: those roles and ranges are constantly expanding and evolving.

So when a scene calls for it, be a ferocious mama bear and a humble advice seeker. Have excellent evidence and strong allies. Be a passionate perspective taker. And if you use those tools -- and each and every one of you can use these tools -- you will expand your range of acceptable behavior, and your days will be mostly joyful.

Thank you.

放大聲音得說話並不簡單。 我直到整整一個月前，當我 與妻子初為父母的時候 才理解這個短語的真正用意。 那是一個神奇的時刻。 那是一個令人興奮 與激動的時刻， 但是那也是可怕的， 令人恐懼的時刻。 當我們剛從醫院回到家的時候， 尤其令人恐懼 我們並不確定 我們剛出生的寶寶是否 能從母乳中得到足夠的養分。

我們想打電話給我們的兒科醫生， 但是我們也不想給別人 留下不好的第一印象， 或者被當作是瘋狂的， 神經質的父母。 所以我們很擔心。 但我們選擇了等待。

當我們第二天早上 去見醫生的時候， 她立刻給寶寶開了配方， 因為他脫水很嚴重。 我們的兒子現在已經好了， 我們的醫生也讓我們放心， 可以隨時聯絡她。

但是在那個時刻， 我應該大聲說出來的，我卻沒做到。

但是有時我們也會在不該說話的時候 放聲大說， 我是在20xx年多以前，當我讓我的 雙胞胎兄弟失望的時候，學會的。 我的雙胞胎兄弟 是一個紀錄片攝影師， 在他的早期作品中， 有一部得到了分銷公司的青睞。 他很激動， 也傾向於接受這份邀請。 但是作為一名談判研究員， 我堅持要求他拒絕這份邀請， 並幫助他起草了一份完美的合同。 而那確實是完美的- 完美的侮辱行為。 那家公司感到被冒犯了， 他們就真的撤回了他們的邀請， 然後我兄弟就一無所有了。

我問過來自世界各地的人， 關於大聲說的兩難問題： 當他們可以斷言的時候， 當他們可以推動自身利益的時候， 當他們可以表達觀點的時候， 當他們提出一個有抱負的要求的時候。

我聽過大量的，各不相同的故事， 但他們卻共同編織了同一幅繡帷。 我能在老闆們犯錯時 糾正他們的錯誤嗎? 我能與老是踩到 我腳趾的同事對質嗎?

我能質疑朋友講的 不合時宜的笑話嗎? 我能告訴我最愛的人 我內心深處的不安全感嗎?

通過這些經歷，我開始認識到 我們每個人都是有一個 可接受行為範圍的。 有些時候，我們太強勢了： 我們給自己負壓太大。 那就是發生在我兄弟身上的事件所表明的。 甚至提出一個建議，都是在他 可接受行為範圍之外的了 但是有時，我們又太軟弱了。 就是我和我妻子所表現出來的。 而這個可接受行為範圍- 當我們呆在範圍內的時候， 我們就會被獎勵。 當我們跨出範圍圈的時候， 我們就會受到不同形式的懲罰。 我們被開除或貶低，甚至被排斥。

我們失去加薪或晉升，或是一筆交易。

現在，我們需要明白的第一件事就是： 我的域是什麼? 但關鍵問題是，我們的 可接受範圍並不固定;它實際上是高度動態的。 它會隨具體語境而放大或縮小。

有一樣東西在可接受範圍大小 這件事上起決定性作用， 那就是你的實力。 你的實力決定了你的可接受範圍域。 實力是指什麼? 實力是以各種形式呈現的。

在談判中，實力以 其他解決方案的形式呈現。 而我的兄弟沒有其他選擇; 他的實力不夠。 公司就有很多的備用選擇; 他們的實力很強。 有時是新到一個國家， 例如移民， 或是新加入一個組織，或是對什麼事情沒有經驗， 就像我和我妻子初為人父母。 有的時候是在工作上， 有人是老闆， 而另一些人是下屬。 有時是在情感上， 一個人比另一個人投入更多重點是，當我們有強大的實力時， 我們的可接受範圍 就會變得非常廣。 我們的行動就有了很大的餘地。 但是當我們實力不足時， 我們的域就會縮小。

我們行動就變得侷限。 問題是當我們的 可接受範圍縮小的時候， 就會進入一種“弱勢兩難”的處境。 當我們陷入“弱勢兩難”的處境時， 我們不為自己說話，就會被忽視， 當我們說出來的時候，又會被懲罰。

你們中的很多人都聽過 “雙重約束”這個短語， 並把它和另一樣事物掛鉤， 就是性別。 性別兩難就是指當女性不發聲， 就會被忽視， 但女性為自己說話， 又會被懲罰的情況。 關鍵是，女性有著 與男性同樣的為自己說話的需求 但她們這樣做會遇到更多的障礙。 但是我在過去二十年裡的研究中發現， 這個看似是性別差異，其實並不是真正的性別兩難困境， 其實是弱勢兩難的問題。 那些表面上看似是性別差異 其實質只是實力差異偽裝成的樣子。 很多時候，當我們看到一位男性和一位女性之間的差距時， 或者男性與女性之間， 我們就會想，“生理因素。 兩性在本質上就是不同的。” 但是在一個又一個的研究當中， 我找到了一個能更好解釋 很多案例中性別差距的原因 那就是實力。 所以把它稱作弱勢兩難困境。 處於弱勢兩難就意味著 我們的可接受範圍很窄 我們實力不足。

我們的可接受範圍越窄， 我們的弱勢兩難就越明顯。

所以我們必須找到方法， 擴大我們的可接受範圍。 在過去的幾十年中， 我和我的同事找到了 兩個重要的影響因素 第一點：你在自己眼中是實力者。

第二點：你在他人眼中是實力者。 當感到自己實力強大， 就會很自信，不會害怕; 就能擴大自己的域。 當他人把自己看作實力強大的人時， 他們就給予了我更廣的可接受範圍。 所以我們需要工具去擴大 我們的可接受行為範圍。 我今天就要給你們一套工具。 大聲說是有風險的一件事， 但是這些工具會降低大聲說的風險。

我要給你們的第一個工具 是在協商領域被發現的， 是很重要的一個發現。 平均來看，女性在談判桌上， 相比男性， 更少的提出有野心的條件， 並取得更差的結果。

但是漢娜·賴利·鮑里斯 和艾米麗·阿曼圖拉發現 在有一種情況下，女性 和男性是同等的野心勃勃 也能得到同等的結果。 那就是當她們在為他人說話的時候。

當她們在為他人說話時， 她們就會發覺自己的 可接受範圍並在腦海中擴大它。 她們變得更加自信。 這就是我們經常說的“熊媽媽效應”。 就像熊媽媽在維護自己的熊寶寶， 當我們為他人聲張的時候， 我們就能發掘自己的聲音。

但是有些時候， 我們必須為自己放聲說。 我們應該怎麼做呢? 為自己講話需要的 最重要的工具就是 一種叫做“換位思考”的東西。 “換位思考”其實很簡單： 就僅僅是通過另一個人的 眼睛看世界而已。 這是我們擴大自身可接受範圍 的最重要的工具。 當我站在你的立場， 去想你真正想要什麼的時候， 你就更有可能給我，我真正想要的。

但是這有一個問題： “換位思考”是一件很難的事情。 讓我們做一點兒實驗。 我希望你們所有人都像這樣， 把手舉起來， 把手指豎起來， 我希望你們在自己的額頭上寫一個大寫的E 越快越好。 好吧，結果表明我們 有兩種不同的書寫方法， 這就是原本用來測試 換位思考的實驗。 我要給你們展示兩張人們在額頭上寫著E的圖片- 這是我以前的學生，艾麗卡·赫尓。 你們在這裡看到的， 是正確的E。 我這樣畫E，所以其他人 就能把它認成E。 這就是“換位思考”的E，因為它是別人眼中的E。 但是這邊的E則是“自我中心”的E。 我們時常會以自我為中心。 特別是在危機情況下更容易。

我希望和你們談談 一次特別的危機。 一個男人走進一家位於加利福尼亞州， 沃森維爾市的銀行。 他說，“給我20xx美金， 要不我就炸了整個銀行。”

而銀行經理沒有給他錢。 她退了一步。 她嘗試站在他的角度， 她注意到了一件很重要的事情。 他要求的是具體數額的錢。

所以她說， “為什麼你需要20xx美金?”

男人說，“如果不能立即拿到20xx美金， 我的朋友就要被驅逐出境了。“

然後經理說， “哦，那你不是要搶銀行- 你是需要貸款。”

“為什麼不跟我回到辦公室， 我們就可以讓你填好需要的檔案。”

她的快速換位思考的 能力解除了一個危機形勢。 當我們能夠從他人的角度看問題時， 我們就會變得有抱負， 自信，但同時招人喜歡。

還有另一種能讓我們既自信， 又能招人喜歡的辦法， 那就是展現靈活性。 現在，想象自己是一名汽車銷售員， 你要賣給別人一輛車。 如果你能給他們兩種選擇， 你更容易賣出車。 比如選項A： 兩萬四美金購車，五年免修。 或是選項B： 兩萬三美金購車，三年免修。 我的研究顯示了，當你 給人們一些選擇的餘地時， 他們會降低自我防範意識， 他們更容易接受你的邀請。

這不僅僅只在銷售人員這裡有用; 它在父母這裡也有用。 當我的侄女四歲的時候， 她拒絕穿衣服，拒絕一切。 但是後來嫂子想出了 一個絕妙的主意。

如果我給我的女兒一種選擇呢? 這件衣服或是那件?好吧，那件。 這條褲子還是那條?好吧，那條。 問題被出色的解決了。 她很快穿好了衣服， 沒有任何抵抗。

當我在世界各地問這個問題， 什麼時候人們能夠 舒服地大聲說出想法， 排名第一的回答是： “當我能在觀眾中得到支援; 當我有隊友的時候。”

所以我們希望有盟友支援自己。 我們要如何做到這一點? 好吧，一種方式是做一隻熊媽媽。 當我們為他人發聲的時候， 我們就擴大了我們自己的範圍， 也擴大了別人眼中的我們， 我們同時也得到了強有力的盟友。

另一種得到盟友的方式， 特別是身居高位的時候， 就是尋求他人的建議。 當我們向他人尋求建議時，他們 就會因為我們重視他們而喜歡我們 因為我們表現出了謙恭。

這能夠幫助我們解決 另外一個兩難的局面。 那就是自我推銷兩難的情況。 自我推銷兩難 就是如果我們不宣傳我們的成就， 就沒人會注意。如果我們宣傳，我們就不討喜。

但是如果我們就 自己的成就徵求意見， 在他人眼中，我們就會 變得能幹且討人喜歡。 這真的很有用，甚至當你已經看穿這個策略時仍然有用我人生中有很多次，我已經預先被人提醒過 有些實力不足的人 被建議來找我諮詢 我希望你們在此注意三點： 第一，我知道他們要來找我詢問建議。

第二，我也研究過的徵求意見的戰略性好處。 第三，這仍然管用! 我站在他們的角度， 我在他們的訴求上花費更多的時間， 我更加關注他們，因為他們向我尋求了幫助。

另一種情況下， 我們也會有自信大聲說， 那就是當我們掌握了專業知識。 專業知識帶給我們可信度。當我們實力強大的時候， 我們就已經擁有了可信度。

我們只需要好的證據。 而我們實力不足的時候， 我們就沒有可信度。 我們就需要極佳的證據。

一種幫助我們被認作為專家的方式 就是發掘我們的熱情。 我希望每個人都能在未來的 幾天當中，去見各自的朋友 和他們說， “我希望你能夠和我分享一件你抱有熱情的事。“ 我在世界各地讓人們做這件事， 然後我詢問他們， “當朋友們向你們描述他們的熱情時 你注意到了什麼?“

答案永遠是相同的。“他們的眼睛變大了，變亮了。” “他們笑的很燦爛。” “他們用手不斷的比劃著- 我必須要躲閃，因為 他們的手都伸向了我。”

“他們更快速的，用更高頻的聲調說話。”

“他們傾向我，好像要跟 我講什麼祕密一樣。”

然後，我就和他們說， “你們聽他們講述的時候， 你是什麼樣的反應呢?”

他們說，“我的眼睛變亮了。 我笑了。 我也傾向了他們。”

當我們發掘自己的熱情時， 我們通過自己的眼睛， 給予了自己大聲說的勇氣， 但是我們也得到了他人的准許。 發掘我們的熱情，即使在 我們軟弱的時候也會起作用。

無論是男性還是女性， 工作時流淚都會受到懲罰。 但是莉齊·沃爾夫發現 當我們將強烈的感情處理為激情的時候， 無論男性還是女性， 就都不會因落淚而受到譴責。

我希望引用我已故的 父親的話來結束演講 這是他在我的 雙胞胎兄弟的婚禮上說的。 這是我們的合影。我的父親和我一樣，都是心理學家， 但是他真正熱愛的，真正的熱情在於電影， 就像我的兄弟一樣。所以，他就在我兄弟的 婚禮上發表了一個演講 是關於我們在人類喜劇中 所扮演的角色的。

然後他說，“你的觸感越細膩， 你越能更好地提高 和豐富你的表演能力 那些帶入角色當中， 努力提高演技的人， 成長，改變，擴張自我。 好好演，你們的生活就會很快樂的。”

我父親的意思是， 我們在這個世界上都有 各自的可理解範圍和角色。 但他也講出了這次演講的精髓：這些角色和範圍是在 不斷擴大和進化的。

當情景需要的時候， 變成一隻凶猛的熊媽媽， 或是一個謙恭的諮詢者。 擁有極佳的證據和強大的盟友。 成為一個熱情的換位思考者。 如果你能夠運用這些工具-這些是在座的每一位 都能夠使用的工具- 你們就能擴大你們的 可接受行為範圍， 你們的生活就會很快樂的。

謝謝。