TED英語演講：情商高的人怎樣說話

說話是人類最常運用的溝通方式，我們每天要說不少話，也得接收很多話，有些話被聽進去了，但有些話卻被當成耳邊風。你是否曾懷疑：「為什麼別人都不聽我說話?」許多人總以為，話說了卻沒達到溝通的效果，八成是聽話的人沒專心，但其實問題也可能出在說話的人身上。你知道到底要怎麼說，別人才會聽?下面是小編為大家收集關於TED英語演講之情商高的人怎樣說話，歡迎借鑑參考。

| 中英文演講稿 |

We are losing our listening. We spend roughly 60 percent of our communication time listening, But we're not very good at it. We retain just 25 percent of what we hear. Now not you, not this talk, but that is generally true. Let's define listening as making meaning from sound. It's a mental process, and it's a process of extraction.

我們正在喪失傾聽的能力。我們交流過程中60%的時間都是用來傾聽，但其實我們並不擅長傾聽。我們只保留了25%所聽到的內容，不是指在座各位和這個演講，這是一個普遍的事實。讓我們來定義傾聽，就是使得聲音有意義，這是一個心理過程，它也是一個提取的過程。

The human voice: It's the instrument we all play. It's the most powerful sound in the world, probably. It's the only one that can start a war or say "I love you." And yet many people have the experience that when they speak, people don't listen to them. And why is that? How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world?

人類的聲音：是我們所有人都彈奏的樂器，可能是這個世界上最有力的聲音，它絕無僅有，或能引起戰爭，或能說“我愛你”。然而，很多人有這種經歷，當他們說的時候，人們並不在聽。這是為什麼呢?我們怎樣有力地說而讓世界發生某種改變?

What I'd like to suggest, there are a number of habits that we need to move away from. I've assembled for your pleasure here seven deadly sins of speaking. I'm not pretending this is an exhaustive list, but these seven, I think, are pretty large habits that we can all fall into.

我所提議的是，我們需要改變一些習慣。在此我為你們收集整理了，說話的七宗罪。我沒打算假裝這是一個詳細的列表，但這七個，我以為是 我們相當容易犯的壞習慣。

First, gossip. Speaking ill of somebody who's not present. Not a nice habit, and we know perfectly well the person gossiping, five minutes later, will be gossiping about us.

第一就是，流言蜚語，在背後說某些人的壞話。這不是一個好習慣，我們都很明白那個說閒話的人在五分鐘以後，就會在別人跟前說我們的閒話。

Second, judging. We know people who are like this in conversation, and it's very hard to listen to somebody if you know that you're being judged and found wanting at the same time.

第二，評判。我們知道有些人在談話中是這樣的，這讓人很難聽進別人的話，如果你知道你被人評判且被認為不合格。

Third, negativity. You can fall into this. My mother, in the last years of her life, became very negative, and it's hard to listen. I remember one day, I said to her, "It's October 1 today," and she said, "I know, isn't it dreadful?" It's hard to listen when somebody's that negative.

第三，消極。你能陷入這個泥潭。我的母親，在她生命的最後幾年裡，變得非常非常消極，很難讓人聽她說話。我記得有一天，我對她說， “今天是十月一號，” 她說，“我知道，這不可怕嗎?” 當某人那麼消極的時候是很難讓人聽進去的。

And another form of negativity, complaining. Well, this is the national art of the U.K. It's our national sport. We complain about the weather, sport, about politics, about everything, but actually, complaining is viral misery. It's not spreading sunshine and lightness in the world.

另外一種消極，就是抱怨。這是英國的全國性藝術，是我們的全國性運動。我們抱怨天氣、體育和政治，幾乎每件事，但實際上抱怨是病毒性的悲催，它不會在這個世界上傳播太陽和光明。

Excuses.

藉口。

We've all met this guy. Maybe we've all been this guy. Some people have a blamethrower. They just pass it on to everybody else and don't take responsibility for their actions, and again, hard to listen to somebody who is being like that.

我們都遇上過這個傢伙，也許我們都曾經是這個傢伙。有些人有指責癖好，他們怪罪任何人而不是對自己的行為負責任，所以，這又是讓人難以聆聽的一種。

Penultimate, the sixth of the seven, embroidery, exaggeration. It demeans our language, actually, sometimes. For example, if I see something that really is awesome, what do I call it? And then, of course, this exaggeration becomes lying, and we don't want to listen to people we know are lying to us.

七件裡面的老六，倒數第二，浮誇，吹牛。它有時貶低了我們的語言，事實上。比如，如果我看什麼真的很神奇的事情，那我該說什麼呢?當然這種誇大後來就變成了說謊，徹頭徹尾的說謊，我們就不想聽，這種我們知道會說謊的人。

And finally, dogmatism. The confusion of facts with opinions. When those two things get conflated, you're listening into the wind. You know, somebody is bombarding you with their opinions as if they were true. It's difficult to listen to that.

最後是，固執己見，把事實和意見混淆。當這兩件事混為一談，你就像在聽風一樣。你知道，有人用他們自己的意見來強迫你，這很難讓我們聽講。

So here they are, seven deadly sins of speaking. These are things I think we need to avoid. But is there a positive way to think about this? Yes, there is. I'd like to suggest that there are four really powerful cornerstones, foundations, that we can stand on if we want our speech to be powerful and to make change in the world.

這就是說話的七宗罪，我認為這些是我們需要避免的，但有沒有比較正面的呢?的確有。我想建議四種我們可以牢靠站立的、真正強有力的基石或者基礎，如果我們想讓我們的言語有力並且讓世界產生變化。

Fortunately, these things spell a word. The word is "hail," and it has a great definition as well. I'm not talking about the stuff that falls from the sky and hits you on the head. I'm talking about this definition, to greet or acclaim enthusiastically, which is how I think our words will be received if we stand on these four things.

幸運的是，這些事情連起來是一個單詞。這個詞就是“hail”，它有著特別好的定義。我不是講那個天上掉下來的砸在你頭上的東西。我在談論的是 “熱情地致敬或讚揚”這個定義。我認為我們的言辭會如此被接受，如果我們堅持這四件事。

So what do they stand for? See if you can guess. The H, honesty, of course, being true in what you say, being straight and clear. The A is authenticity, just being yourself. A friend of mine described it as standing in your own truth, which I think is a lovely way to put it.

那麼它們到底是什麼呢?看看你是否能猜到。H，代表了誠實(Honesty)，當然，說真話，直接了當並且清楚明白。A，代表了真實(Authenticity)，做一個自然而然的自己。我的一個朋友把它描述為堅持真實的自己，我覺得這是一個優美的表述。

The I is integrity, being your word, actually doing what you say, and being somebody people can trust. And the L is love. I don't mean romantic love, but I do mean wishing people well, for two reasons. First of all, I think absolute honesty may not be what we want. I mean, my goodness, you look ugly this morning. Perhaps that's not necessary. Tempered with love, of course, honesty is a great thing.

I，代表了正氣(Integrity)，言而有信， 說到做到， 成為別人能信任的人。L，代表愛(Love)。我不是指羅曼蒂克的愛情，而是指對別人有良好的祝願，這出於兩個原因。第一，我認為絕對的誠實也許不是我們所想要的。我的意思是，天哪，今天早上你真難看，那可能不必要。誠實是很重要的，當然，適當地帶著愛。

But also, if you're really wishing somebody well, it's very hard to judge them at the same time. I'm not even sure you can do those two things simultaneously. So hail.

但還有，當你真的很希望別人好，就很難同時評判他們。我不知道你們是否能 同時做到這兩點。 那麼hail。

Also, now that's what you say, and it's like the old song, it is what you say, it's also the way that you say it. You have an amazing toolbox. This instrument is incredible, and yet this is a toolbox that very few people have ever opened. I'd like to have a little rummage in there with you now and just pull a few tools out that you might like to take away and play with, which will increase the power of your speaking.

上面提到的是你所說的內容。另外，就像老歌裡唱的，你所說的很重要，還有你的表達方式也很重要。你有一個很神奇的工具盒，裡面有難以置信的工具，然而這個工具盒只有不多的人開啟過。我願意跟你們在這裡做一點兒探查，並且找出幾種工具。你也許想拿來試一下，這些將會增加你說話的力量。

Register, for example. Now, falsetto register may not be very useful most of the time, but there's a register in between. I'm not going to get very technical about this for any of you who are voice coaches. You can locate your voice, however. So if I talk up here in my nose, you can hear the difference.

比如說，音域。假聲大部分時候可能是沒用的，但在兩者之間會有一種是有用的。對於在座的語音教練們，我不會在這個問題上很深入。然而，你能定位你的聲音。如果我把聲音提到鼻子這兒，你可以聽出不同。

If I go down here in my throat, which is where most of us speak from most of the time. But if you want weight, you need to go down here to the chest. You hear the difference? We vote for politicians with lower voices, it's true, because we associate depth with power and with authority. That's register.

如果我把聲音降到嗓子這裡， 這是我們大部分人大多數時候所做的。但是如果你想有份量， 你需要降到胸腔。 你聽出了不同嗎? 我們給聲音低沉的政治家投票，那是真的， 因為我們把深沉 和權力、權威聯絡在一起。 那是音域。

Then we have timbre. It's the way your voice feels. Again, the research shows that we prefer voices which are rich, smooth, warm, like hot chocolate. Well if that's not you, that's not the end of the world, because you can train. Go and get a voice coach. And there are amazing things you can do with breathing, with posture, and with exercises to improve the timbre of your voice.

然後我們再說音色，那是你的聲音讓人感覺如何。研究顯示我們喜歡那種豐厚、平滑、溫暖，像熱巧克力一樣的聲音。當然如果你沒有那樣的聲音，這也不是世界末日。因為你可以訓練，去找到一個聲音教練。你可以做很神奇的事情，利用呼吸、姿勢，還有鍛鍊來提高你嗓音的音色。

Then prosody. I love prosody. This is the sing-song, the meta-language that we use in order to impart meaning. It's root one for meaning in conversation. People who speak all on one note are really quite hard to listen to if they don't have any prosody at all. That's where the word "monotonic" comes from, or monotonous, monotone.

然後是韻律，我喜歡韻律。那是唱歌，是元語言，我們用來傳送意味。在談話中是意思的根基。那種說話一個聲調的人很難讓人聽講， 如果他們沒有一點兒韻律。那就是單調這個詞的來源，或者說枯燥無味，一成不變。

Also, we have repetitive prosody now coming in, where every sentence ends as if it were a question when it's actually not a question, it's a statement? (Laughter) And if you repeat that one, it's actually restricting your ability to communicate through prosody, which I think is a shame, so let's try and break that habit.

我們還有重複性的韻律， 每個句子的結尾好像是一個疑問句， 但事實上，它不是疑問句，而是陳述句。 (笑聲) 如果你一遍一遍地重複某個東西， 它會限制你 用韻律來交流的能力， 我認為這是一件憾事， 讓我們努力打破那個習慣。

Pace.

語速

I can get very excited by saying something really quickly, or I can slow right down to emphasize, and at the end of that, of course, is our old friend silence. There's nothing wrong with a bit of silence in a talk, is there? We don't have to fill it with ums and ahs. It can be very powerful.

我可以非常非常興奮地飛快地說著什麼，或者我能慢下來強調，在結尾處，當然是我們的老朋友，沉默。在講話中，有一點兒沉默，沒關係，是嗎?我們不需要用“嗯” 和“ 啊”來填充。沉默就很有力。

Of course, pitch often goes along with pace to indicate arousal, but you can do it just with pitch. Where did you leave my keys? (Higher pitch) Where did you leave my keys? So, slightly different meaning in those two deliveries.

當然，音調常常跟語速一起來指示興奮度，但你能僅僅用音調就顯示出來。你把我的鑰匙放在哪兒啦?你把我的鑰匙放在哪兒啦?那麼輕微的差別在這兩個表達中。

And finally, volume. (Loud) I can get really excited by using volume. Sorry about that, if I startled anybody. Or, I can have you really pay attention by getting very quiet. Some people broadcast the whole time. Try not to do that. That's called sodcasting, Imposing your sound on people around you carelessly and inconsiderately. Not nice.

最後，是音量。我能用音量表示極端的興奮。如果我打擾了任何人的話，抱歉。或者，我能用很輕的聲音讓你認真地注意。有人全程一直都在說話，別那樣，那叫做“公放音樂”， 把你的聲音不假思索 和草率地強加給別人，不好。

Of course, where this all comes into play most of all is when you've got something really important to do. It might be standing on a stage like this and giving a talk to people. It might be proposing marriage, asking for a raise, a wedding speech. Whatever it is, if it's really important, you owe it to yourself to look at this toolbox and the engine that it's going to work on, and no engine works well without being warmed up. Warm up your voice.

當然，這些工具真正發揮作用的地方，是當你有什麼很重要的事情要做的時候。這可能是像這樣站在演講臺上對著人演講。它可能是求婚，要求加薪，或者婚禮上的講話。不管是什麼，如果它非常重要，你應該看著這個工具盒，以及將要工作執行的發動機，沒有預熱的發動機不會好好工作。預熱你自己的聲音。

Actually, let me show you how to do that. Would you all like to stand up for a moment? I'm going to show you the six vocal warm-up exercises that I do before every talk I ever do. Any time you're going to talk to anybody important, do these. First, arms up, deep breath in, and sigh out, ahhhhh, like that.

讓我給你演示怎樣做，你們都願意站起來一會兒嗎?我會給你演示六個預熱聲音的鍛鍊，在每次演講之前我都這麼做。在跟任何重要的人談話之前，做以下這些。第一，舉起雙臂，吸氣， 然後撥出，啊哈，就像那樣。

One more time. Ahhhh, very good. Now we're going to warm up our lips, and we're going to go Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba. Very good. And now, brrrrrrrrrr, just like when you were a kid. Brrrr. Now your lips should be coming alive. We're going to do the tongue next with exaggerated la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Beautiful. You're getting really good at this. And then, roll an R. Rrrrrrr. That's like champagne for the tongue.

再來一次。 啊哈，很好。 現在我們要預熱我們的嘴脣， 做出吧，吧，吧，吧， 吧，吧，吧，吧。很好。現在，brrrrrrr，就像你是個孩子，brrrrr，現在你的嘴脣應該活了。下一個是舌頭， 誇張的啦，啦，啦，啦…… 美極了。你們做得很好。

Finally, and if I can only do one, the pros call this the siren. It's really good. It starts with "we" and goes to "aw." The "we" is high, the "aw" is low. So you go, weeeaawww, weeeaawww.

然後，捲舌一個R，Rrrrrr。 這就像給舌頭的香檳酒。 最後，如果我只能做一個， 專業人士把這叫做警報。 這個特別好。它開始於“we”然後轉為“aw”。 “we”是高音，“aw”是低音。 那麼就是，“weeeaawww……”

Fantastic. Give yourselves a round of applause. Take a seat, thank you.

妙極了，給你自己來鼓個掌。請坐，謝謝你們。

Next time you speak, do those in advance.

下次你演講之前，提前做到這幾項。

Now let me just put this in context to close. This is a serious point here. This is where we are now, right? We speak not very well to people who simply aren't listening in an environment that's all about noise and bad acoustics. I have talked about that on this stage in different phases. What would the world be like if we were speaking powerfully to people who were listening consciously in environments which were actually fit for purpose?

現在讓我在結束之前作個總結，這一點是認真的。這就是我們的所在，對嗎?我們說得不好，人們也聽不進去，在一個吵鬧和喧譁的環境裡。我已經在講臺上分階段地談到這個問題。這個世界會是怎樣，如果我們有說服力，人們有意識地聽，在一個量身定做的環境下?

Or to make that a bit larger, what would the world be like if we were creating sound consciously and consuming sound consciously and designing all our environments consciously for sound? That would be a world that does sound beautiful, and one where understanding would be the norm, and that is an idea worth spreading.

或者說得更大一些，世界將會是怎樣，如果我們有意識地說話，有意識地傾聽，並且有意識地針對聲音來設計我們的周圍環境?那會是一個聽起來非常美麗的世界，在那兒理解會是常態，那是一個值得傳播的理念。

Thank you.

感謝你們。