TED英語演講：我為什麼要製造無用的東西

在這個愉快的，發自內心的演講中，西蒙妮·吉爾茨分享了她的手藝：製造無用的機器人。她的發明-設計用來切蔬菜、剪頭髮、塗口紅等等-很少(如果有的話)成功，這就是重點。吉爾茨說：“製造無用事物的真正美妙之處在於承認你並不總是知道最好的答案是什麼。”“它關閉了你頭腦中的聲音，告訴你確切地知道這個世界是如何運作的。也許牙刷頭盔不是答案，但至少你在問這個問題。下面是小編為大家收集關於TED英語演講：我為什麼要製造無用的東西，歡迎借鑑參考。

演講者：Ivan Joseph

| 中英對照演講稿 |

Hello. My name is Simone. You know how people tell you if you get nervous when onstage, picture people in the audien cenaked? Like it's this thing that's supposed to make you feel better. But I was thinking -- picturing all of you naked in 20xx feels kind of weird and wrong.

大家好。我是Simone。人們總是告訴你當你在舞臺上感到緊張的時候，假想觀眾都沒穿衣服就好了。說的就像這真能讓你感覺好點一樣。但是我一直在想——在20xx年想象你們都沒穿衣服實在有點不太對啊。

Like, we're working really hard on moving past stuff like that, so we need anew method of dealing with if you get nervous onstage. And I realized that whatI'd really like is that I can look at you as much as you're looking at me --just to even things out a little bit. So if I had way more eyeballs, then we'dall be really comfortable, right? So in preparation for this talk, I made myself a shirt.(Rattling)

我們都有在努力克服這樣的問題，所以我們需要一種新方法，來應付舞臺恐懼症。我意識到，我真正想要的是我能跟你們看著我一樣看著你們，只是為了公平一點。所以如果我有更多眼睛的話，那我們就都會很舒服，對吧?所以為了準備這次演講我給自己做了件T恤(窸窸窣窣的聲音)

It's googly eyes. It took me 14 hours and 227 googly eyes to make this shirt. And being able to look at you as much asyou're looking at me is actually only half of the reason I made this. The other half is being able to do this.(Googly eyes rattle)

這就是大眼睛T恤。花了我14個小時，以及227個大眼睛貼片。能夠像你們看著我一樣看著你們這件事，其實只是我製作這件T恤的部分原因。另一半原因是我可以這麼玩兒。(大眼睛T恤的響聲)

So I do a lot of things like this. I see aproblem and I invent some sort of solution to it. For example, brushing your teeth. Like, it's this thing we all have to do, it's kind of boring, and nobody really likes it. If there were any seven-year-olds in the audience, they'd belike, "Yes!" So what about if you had a machine that could do it foryou?

我做過很多這樣的事。我發現了一個問題，就會發明某個解決方法來應對它。比如刷牙這件事：這就是一件大家都得做，但是又有點無聊的事，而且沒人真正喜歡刷牙。如果在座有7歲小朋友的話，他們肯定會大喊“就是這樣!”那麼要不要來一臺自動幫你刷牙的機器呢?

I call it ... I call it "TheToothbrush Helmet."(Robot arm buzzing)

我給它取了名，叫做“牙刷頭盔”。(機器人的手臂聲)

So my toot brush helmet is recommended by zero out of 10 dentists, and it definitely did not revolutionize the world of dentistry, but it did completely change my life. Because I finished making this toothbrush helmet three years ago and after I finished making it, I went into my living room and I put up a camera, and I filmed a seven-second clip of it working.

10位牙醫中，有0位推薦了我的牙刷頭盔，它也肯定不算顛覆牙醫界的偉大發明，但它確實改變了我的生活。因為3年前我做出了這個頭盔，完成製作之後，我在客廳架起了攝像機，錄了一個7秒長的頭盔操作視訊。

And by now, this is a pretty standard modern-day fairy tale of girl posting on the internet, the internet takes the girl by storm, thousands of men voyage into the comment sections to ask for her hand in marriage --She ignores all of them, starts a YouTube channel and keeps on building robots.

現在，這成了一個標準的現代版童話：一個女孩在網上發帖，跟上了網際網路浪潮，數以千計的男人們湧進評論區，邀請她進入婚姻殿堂——而她無視了他們所有人，創立了一個YouTube頻道，繼續搭建機器人。

Since then, I've carved out this little niche for myself on the internet as an inventor of useless machines, because aswe all know, the easiest way to be at the top of your field is to choose a very small field.

從那時起我在網際網路上為自己發掘出了這麼一個商機：無用機器發明者。因為大家都知道，成為你所在行業頂尖人物的最簡單方法，就是選擇一個非常小的行業。

So I run a YouTube channel about my machines, and I've done things like cutting hair with drones --(Drone buzzes)(Drone crashes)(Drone buzzes)

所以我在運營一個關於我的機器的YouTube頻道，我有試過用無人機剪頭髮——(無人機噪聲)(無人機墜毀)(無人機噪聲)

To a machine that helps me wake up in the morning --(Alarm)

(Video) Simone: Ow!

我還做過一臺鬧鐘機器——(鬧鈴聲)

(視訊)Simone：噢!

To this machine that helps me chop vegetables.(Knives chop)

還有這臺幫我切菜的機器。(切菜聲)

I'm not an engineer. I did not study engineering in school. But I was a super ambitious student growing up. In middle school and high school, I had straight A's, and I graduated at the topof my year. On the flip side of that, I struggled with very severe performance anxiety.

我不是個工程師，我沒學過工程學，但我從小就是個特別有遠大志向的學生。無論國中高中我一路拿的都是A，而且我畢業那年還是名列前茅的。但另一面是，我當時有非常嚴重的表現焦慮。

Here's an email I sent to my brother around that time. "You won't understand how difficult it is for me to tell you, to confess this. I'm so freaking embarrassed. I don't want people to think that I'm stupid. Now I'm starting to cry too. Damn." And no, I did not accidentally burn ourparents' house down. The thing I'm writing about in the email and the thing I'mso upset about is that I got a B on a math test.

這是一封當時我寫給我兄弟的郵件。“你不會明白，光是告訴你這件事，對我來說有多難。實在是太難堪了。我不希望人們覺得我是個傻子。我現在居然還開始哭了。真討厭。”別誤會，我可沒有不小心把爸媽的房子燒了。信裡面那件讓我如此焦慮不安的事其實是，有一次數學測驗我只拿了B。

So something obviously happened between here and of those things was puberty.

所以這兩種情況之間一定發生了什麼事情。其中一件是青春期的到來。

Beautiful time indeed. But more over, I got interested in building robots, and I wanted to teach myself about hardware. But building things with hardware, especially if you're teaching yourself, is something that's really difficult to do. It has a high likelihood of failure and more over, it has a high likelihood of making you feel stupid. And that was my biggest fear at the time.

非常美麗的時期。但除此之外，我開始對搭建機器人感興趣，我還想自學硬體知識。但搭建需要硬體的東西，尤其是當你是在自學的時候，是一件非常困難的事情。失敗機率非常高，並且，這很有可能讓你覺得自己超級智障。而那就是我當時最大的恐懼。

So I came up with a setup that would guarantee success 100 percent of the time. With my setup, it would be nearly impossible to fail. And that was that instead of trying to succeed, I was going to try to build things that would fail. And even though I didn't realize it at the time,building stupid things was actually quite smart, because as I kept on learning about hardware, for the first time in my life, I did not have to deal with my performance anxiety. And as soon as I removed all pressure and expectations from myself, that pressure quickly got replaced by enthusiasm, and it allowed me to just play.

所以我做了一個一定能保證100%成功率的設定。根據我的設定，失敗可能性幾乎為零。我打算再試著獲得成功，我要製作一個肯定失敗的機器。儘管我當時並沒有意識到，但實際上，製作一無是處東西其實還是個挺聰明的點子。因為當我對硬體的學習更加深入的時候，我人生中第一次，不用應對自我表現方面的焦慮。並且當我卸除了所有對自己的壓力與期待後，壓力很快就被熱情取代，我就可以只是瞎玩了。

So as an inventor, I'm interested in things that people struggle with. It can be small things or big things or medium-sizedthings and something like giving a TED talk presents this whole new set of problems that I can solve. And identifying a problem is the first step in my process of building a useless machine.

所以，作為一個發明者，我對人們很難做到的事情很感興趣。可以是小事，大事，或者二者之間的事。而做一場TED演講，帶來了一系列我能解決的全新問題。而發現問題則是搭建一個無用機器的第一步。

So before I came here, I sat down and I thought of some of the potential problems I might have in giving this etting what to say. That people won't laugh -- that's you. Or even worse, that you'll laugh at the wrong things -- that was an OK part to laugh at, thank you.

在我來這裡之前，我坐下來好好思考了一番演講時可能遇到的問題：忘詞，沒人笑——說的就是你哦。或者更糟的是，你們笑錯地方了，這裡你們其實是可以笑的，謝謝。

Or that when I get nervous, my hands start shaking and I'm really self-conscious about it. Or that my fly has been open this entire time and all of you noticed but I didn't, but it's closed so we're all good on that one.

或者我一緊張就會手抖，我還非常清楚這一點。或者我的褲子拉鍊一直都沒拉上，所有人都注意到了，就我沒有。但它是拉好的，所以沒事了。

But one thing I'm actually really nervous about is my hands shaking. I remember when I was a kid, giving presentations in school, I would have my notes on a piece of paper, and I would put a notebook behind the paper so that people wouldn't be able to see the paper I give a lot of talks. I know that about half of you in the audience areprobably like, "Building useless machines is really fun, but how is thisin any way or form a business?"

我最擔心的就是手抖這個問題了。我還記得我小時候在學校做演講時，我會在一張紙上準備講稿，並將紙貼到一個筆記本上，這樣人們就看不出紙在顫抖了。我做過很多演講。我知道你們中有一半聽眾都可能這麼想：“製作無用機器確實挺好玩，但這怎麼可能是商機呢?”

And giving talks is a part of it. And the arrangers always put out a glass of water for you on stage so you have something to drink if you get thirsty, and I always so badly want to drink that water,but I don't dare to pick the glass up because then people might be able to see that my hands are shaking. So what about a machine that hands you a glass of water? Sold to the nervous girl in the googly-eye shirt.

演講就是其中的一部分，組織者一定會在講臺上給你放杯水，這樣你渴的時候就有水喝了。我每次都超級想喝那杯水，但我沒有勇氣拿起杯子，因為人們可能就看出我的手在抖。那麼要不要來一臺遞給你一杯水的機器呢?就賣給穿大眼睛T恤的那位緊張女孩!

Actually, I need to take this off because Ihave a thing --(Googly eyes rattle)

實際上我得把這T恤脫了，因為我有個玩意兒要展示——(大眼睛們窸窸窣窣)

Oh.(Clanking)

噢(叮噹聲)

I still don't know what to call this, but I think some sort of "head orbit device," because it rotates this platform around you and you can put anything on it. You can have a camera; youcan get photos of your entire head. Like it's really -- it's a very versatileachine.

我還是不知道給它起什麼名字。就叫“頭部環繞儀”之類的吧。因為這個平臺會繞著你的頭旋轉，你想放什麼東西上去都可以。比如放一臺攝像機，你就可以拍到你整個頭部的照片。這是一臺非常多功能的機器。

OK, and I have -- I mean, you can put some snacks on it, for example, if you want to. I have some popcorn here. And you just put a little bit like that. And then you want to -- there's some sacrifices for science -- just some popcorn falling on the floor. Let's do the long way around.(Robot buzzes)

好了。比如你們還可以把零食放上去啊，如果你想的話。我這有些爆米花。你就這麼放一點上去。如果你想——這有一些科學的犧牲品——一些爆米花掉地上了。我們來繞個大圈吧。(機器聲)

And then you have a little hand. You need to adjust the height of it, and you just do it by shrugging.

這兒有隻小手。你得把高度調整一下，聳聳肩就可以。

It has a little hand.(Hand thwacks)

這就是小手。(手掌拍打聲)

I just bumped my mic off, but I think we'reall good. OK, also I need to chew this popcorn, so if you guys could just clapyour hands a little bit more --OK, so it's like your own little personalsolar system, because I'm a millennial, so I want everything to revolve aroundme.

我把麥克風拍掉了，但應該沒事兒。好的，我先把爆米花嚥下去，所以你們再鼓一會掌好了。這就像個私人迷你太陽系，因為我是千禧一代，所以我希望所有東西都圍著我轉。

Back to the glass of water, that's what we're here for. So, I promise -- I mean, it still has -- it doesn't have any water in it, I'm sorry. But I still need to work on this machine a little bit because I still need to pick up the glass and put it on the platform, but if your hands are shaking a little bit, nobody's going to notice because you're wearing a very mesmerizing piece of equipment.

回到那杯水的問題，那是我們來到這裡的原因。我保證，它裡頭還有——這杯子裡面沒有水，抱歉。但我還得調整一下這個機器，因為我還是得拿起杯子放到平臺上，但如果你的手在抖，沒有人能注意到了，因為你身上正穿著一臺很迷人的機器呢。

So, we're all good. OK.(Robot buzzes)(Singing)

目前為止一切正常。很好。(機器聲)(歌聲)

Oh no, it got stuck. Isn't it comforting that even robots sometimes get stage fright? It just gets stuck a little 's very human of them. Oh wait, let's go back a little bit, and then --(Glass falls)

哦不，它卡住了。連機器都會犯舞臺恐懼症，是不是很讓人放鬆啊?它只是有一點點卡住。非常人性化哦。等一下，我們倒回去一點。然後——(玻璃杯觸地聲)

Isn't it a beautiful time to be alive?

活在這個時代真好，是吧?

So as much as my machines can seem like simple engineering slap stick, I realize that I stumbled on something bigger than that. It's this expression of joy and humility that often gets lost inengineering, and for me it was a way to learn about hardware without having my performance anxiety get in the way. I often get asked if I think I'm ever going to build something useful, and maybe someday I will.

我的機器看起來像是在用工程學做簡單的惡搞，但我意識到我觸及到了一些比這更重要的事。製造機器時往往無法表現得開心或謙遜。對我而言，用這種方式學硬體，是不會受到表現焦慮症干擾的。經常有人問我，我以後會不會製作一些有用的東西?可能有一天我會。

But the way I see it, Ialready have because I've built myself this job and it's something that I could never have planned for, or that I could --It's something that I could never have planned for. Instead it happened just because I was enthusiastic about what I was doing, and I was sharing that enthusiasm with other people.

但我覺得，我早已做到了。這份工作是我為自己創造出的。這是我無法計劃出來的。或者——這是我永遠也無法計劃出的。相反，這一切的發生只是因為我對這個工作充滿熱情，並且我在與他人分享我的熱情。

To me that's the true beauty of making useless things, because it's this acknowledgment that you don't always know what the best answer is. And it turns off that voice in your head that tells you that you know exactly how the world works. And maybe atoothbrush helmet isn't the answer, but at least you're asking the question.

對於我，那就是製作無用機器最美的部分。因為你已經承認，你不一定知道最好的答案是什麼。它讓你不再盲目認為自己已經完全瞭解世界怎麼運作。可能一臺牙刷頭盔並不是標準答案，但至少你提出了問題。

Thank you.(Applause)

謝謝。(掌聲)