【聖誕節活動】聖誕節中英文笑話蒐集快樂過聖誕大綱
聖誕節到了,布什向著上帝許願道:
“上帝,我希望得到拉燈。”
聖誕老人出現了,說:
“鑽進我的口袋,我會讓你的願望實現的。”
布什就鑽了進去,剛一進去,他就發現裡面有一個人,一驚之下,他竟然發現那個人就是……
布什大笑道:
“聖誕老人果然有能力,有膽識,有才華,有魄力………(以下省略)
這時,他聽見拉燈正在用阿拉伯語重複這句話。
最後,兩人聽見聖誕老人說:
“哈哈,兩方面的賞金我都得了。”
A Useful Lesson
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar.
Mr. Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often,but he never took his son,Tom,because he was too young. Then when Tom had his eighteenth birthday, pson took him to his usual bar for the first drank for half an hour, and then pson said to his son,“Now, Tom,I want to teach you a useful must always be careful not to drink too much. And how do you know when you've had enough? Well, I'll tell you see those two lights at the end of the bar? When they seem to have become four,you've had enough and should go home.”
“But, Dad,” said Tom,“I can only see one light at the end of the bar.”
有益的教訓
在英國,十八歲以下的人不準進酒吧喝酒。
湯普森先生以前常常去他家附近的一個酒吧喝酒,但他從陶寶網來不帶他的兒子湯姆去,因為他年紀太小。後來,當湯姆年滿十八歲的時候,湯普森先生第一次帶他去他常去的那家酒吧。他們喝了半個小時,而後,湯普森先生對他兒子說:“湯姆,現在我要告訴你一個有益的教訓。你必須時時小心不要喝得太多。你怎麼知道你喝夠了呢?好,我來告訴你。你看見酒吧那頭有兩盞燈嗎?當那兩盞燈看起來變成四盞的時候,你就喝夠了,應該回家了。
“可是,爸爸。”湯姆說:“在酒吧那頭我只能看見一盞燈。”
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"
一天,有一個城市裡的遊客來到一個小鄉村,在鄉間路上開著車,想看看農莊是什麼樣子,也想看看農夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城裡人看見一位農夫在宅後的草地上,手中抱著一頭豬,並把它舉得高高的,好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城裡人對農夫說,"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的,但是,這不是很浪費時間嗎?" 那位農夫回答說,"時間對豬有什麼意義?"
The thief and the judge
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
法官與小偷
那天是聖誕節,法官在審訊犯人時也有點惻隱之心。“你為什麼而被起訴?”他問。
“採購聖誕節物品過早。”被告答。
“這不算犯法,”法官回答,“你購物多早?”
在商店開門之前,“犯人應道。
Jesus's Telly
A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.
"But what's that in the corner?" asked Mother.
"Oh, that's their telly," replied the tot.
耶穌的電視機
聖誕節時孩子要了紙和蠟筆,想畫一張耶穌誕生像。最後這件藝術品被陳列出來供父母鑑賞。
他們對耶穌誕生後睡的馬槽,牧羊人,耶穌及其家庭都逐一表示讚賞。
“可是那個角落裡是什麼?”媽媽問。
“噢,那是他們的電視機,”孩子回答說
What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?
Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe
聖誕老人喜歡在花園裡做什麼?
答案:鋤地。(英文裡Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是鋤草之意,ho則是聖誕老人的笑聲。)
On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?
Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!
聖誕節前夕,聖誕老人和一清廉的政治人物,以及一心地善良的律師在一家高階飯店一同等電梯,門還未開前,三人同時看到地上有一張新臺幣1000元的鈔票,猜猜誰會將它撿起?
答案:當然是聖誕老人啦!為什麼?因為大家都知道另外兩者並不存在。
相關文章
-
【聖誕節活動】聖誕節中英文笑話蒐集快樂過聖誕
聖誕節到了,布什向著上帝許願道:上帝,我希望得到拉燈。聖誕老人出現了,說:鑽進我的口袋,我會讓你的願望實現的。布什就鑽了進去,剛一進去,他就發現裡面有一個人,一驚之下,他竟然發現那個人就是……布什大笑道:聖誕老 -
【聖誕節活動】聖誕節笑話20條 繽紛雪天樂一樂大綱
1.傳說聖誕夜晚,天上的星星發下二個心願;一個是願天下所有人平安快樂,另一個則是告訴正在看此訊息的幸運娃,聖誕節可以放假一天,不過請先請假!2.今年聖誕節我只能形單影隻地一個人度過。孤單冷清的感覺實在難受,如果聖誕老 -
【聖誕節活動】聖誕節笑話20條 繽紛雪天樂一樂
美容護膚小竅門+米醋抗感染:醋能改變面板的酸鹼度,軟化面板角質層,還能抑制細菌滋生,使毛孔通常,減少感染性面板病的發生。但洗臉以純天然的`米醋最好,一盤洗臉水滴上7~10滴的米醋就可以了。次數不能頻繁,一週1~2次即可。+綠 -
【聖誕節活動】讓你笑翻的聖誕節笑話大綱
1.當老人家偷偷爬出窗時,我深情地掉淚了,無數次他扛著沉重的裹出去出賣力氣無數次他為了某人而花白了鬍子時,多麼想說聲……您,老頭子,聖誕快樂哦聖誕快樂哦2.為什麼聖誕節設在寒冷的冬季?因為你需要我的溫暖; -
【聖誕節活動】講幾個爆笑雷人的聖誕節笑話吧大綱
2015聖誕節來了,各種活動裡如果能來幾個笑話,那氣氛就更加不錯了。這裡,我們精心為你準備了多個聖誕節笑話,速度收藏以備不時之需!1、神父的牙疼了一夜,他一早起來就到醫生那裡去了。醫生給他拔了牙,對他說:聖誕節就到了,這回 -
【聖誕節活動】講一些風趣幽默的聖誕節笑話吧大綱
1、心情鍵盤:消極時請按F5鍵,重新整理態度;難過時請按Tab鍵,跳過傷心;煩惱時請按Shift鍵,轉換心情;開心時請按Enter鍵,進入快樂時光!2、符號人生:經歷是逗號,挫折是頓號、愛情是著重號,幸福是書名號,學習是冒號,畢業是分號,工作是問 -
【聖誕節活動】講幾個爆笑雷人的聖誕節笑話吧
懷孕七個月肚子痛正常嗎?在婦產科醫院很多孕婦常會因為腹痛去醫院就診,生活中有每一個孕婦都會被各式各樣的腹痛而困擾著,擔心自己是否會出現早產,也會擔心肚子中的孩子會受到影響,總之總是會想東想西的,那麼,懷孕七個月肚子 -
【聖誕節活動】讓你笑翻的聖誕節笑話
有一個人,讓我們日日夜夜不能安眠;有一個人讓我們費盡心思也猜不到他的意圖;有一個人,讓我們在一個個週末的夜晚奮筆疾書;這一個人,甚至幾乎可以決定我們的一生。他是誰?他不是老師,也不是家長。他是出題人。但我的夢想,是成為 -
【聖誕節活動】講一些風趣幽默的聖誕節笑話吧
1、心情鍵盤:消極時請按F5鍵,重新整理態度;難過時請按Tab鍵,跳過傷心;煩惱時請按Shift鍵,轉換心情;開心時請按Enter鍵,進入快樂時光!2、符號人生:經歷是逗號,挫折是頓號、愛情是著重號,幸福是書名號,學習是冒號,畢業是分號,工作是問 -
【聖誕節祝福語】聖誕節整人搞笑簡訊集 真好笑大綱
神說:所謂幸福,是有一顆感恩的新,一個健康的身體,一份稱心的工作,一位深愛你的人,一幫信賴的同夥,你會擁有這一切!祝:聖誕快樂!一抹斜陽染霞光,夜幕降,華燈上,白雪鑲青松,歡聲嵌盛裝,西洋為頂用,說是時尚,已不時尚 置行次樣產,容超先